Imitations of the Abyss
The time leading up to the fifth stage of the Sinister way, that which is marked by the grade of Master/Mistress, is one of significant emotional struggle. The years following the successful undertaking of the rite of Internal Adept mark a time when the various seeds planted during that ordeal grow and are reaped. This particular, personal, ‘alchemical’, season can span a decade or so of causal time, and the presencings of that Rite include a much greater awareness of one’s character, and thus of one’s personal Destiny, or purpose. Much causal earthing of energies should be completed during this time, expressing that personal Destiny in the world.
This period of deeper personal growth may also be enhanced by an insight role. As has been written elsewhere, this insight role is tied to Aeonic goals, since there has also emerged, beyond the often intuitive drives of the Initiate for personal, transformative experiences, a sense of what-lies-beyond … Glimmers of this awareness begin to form during the rite of External Adept, as a different form of time is experienced, presenced by flowing with the precession of the stars. This particular flowing is further encouraged by the ordeal in the wilderness which is the Internal Adept. Here, a landscape as devoid as possible of human activity and interference, dissolves the self and absorbs it into the many considerably slower modes of time presenced in the emanations of Nature.
This creates in the Adept that often sad-infused yearning for what-lies-beyond, and that particular presencing is permanent. Although there will be times when this aspect within is buried amidst the mundanities of everyday life, it always resurfaces eventually, driving the Adept on to seek to taste those nearly elusive intimations of eternity. This resurfacing can cause anguish and restlessness. Whilst many may cease to follow the Path before they reach Internal Adept, once the threshold of Internal Adept is crossed there can be, for the vast majority, no real undoing of what has been presenced, since the changes which have occurred do not allow a completely successful re-integration back into ‘normal life’.
According to the nature of the changes wrought, the Adept will go through a period of questioning themselves, their Path, and their Destiny. There may even be, as in one or two known cases, an apparent rejection of the sinister, and an earnest living of the ‘light’. By so living, there emerges a very slow and sometimes painful synthesis of ‘light’ and ‘dark’, and thus a dissolution where both aspects cease to exist is slowly presenced. This can cause great emotional struggle for the Adept, since in its early stages, this form of change removes what was once regarded as an absolute, a structure which made one’s life suffused with meaning. The outer forms, the rituals, the symbols, the words all can then seem empty. There is then a seeking to replace what appears to have been lost.
This replacing may be earnestly implemented for several years, but these new outer forms also inevitably fall away, since what has begun to be revealed consciously to the Adept are Intimations of the Abyss, of what-lies-beyond. There emerges then a new consciousness which is essentially sinister: a deep awareness of the turning of that helix perpetually from the darkness which is chaos and change, to the order which is light and creation, and back to the darkness … (In practical terms, in a way which continually confounds those below the stage of Adept, this synthesis is the enigma which is the genuine sinister Master/Mistress: that they are both the light and the dark, and beyond both …)
With this new and often disturbing awareness, the Adept is impelled towards the threshold of the next stage, driven to seek to positively live and contain and presence this consciousness of the abyss which seems to threaten to devour them and in that instant of decimation, render the life of that Adept irrelevant. Thus, all that has gone before, all the works which were once so suffused with the power of individual Destiny, seem merely as shadows and shells. The promise of the Crossing of The Abyss is the power bestowed to fully presence what-lies-beyond in causal creative forms, in deeds, in one’s very being. In essence, it is the potential hinted at from the stage of Initiation, to become an earth based nexion, a gate to our Dark Gods, and to begin the creation of a unique life form beyond the causal.
Once the Adept makes the conscious decision to undertake the ordeal of the Abyss, there are several difficult tasks which must be undertaken, some of which are to do with completing the self-image created by the Internal Adept rite, and others to do with fulfilling certain duties associated with the sinister way. Fulfilment of these tasks bind the Adept to the Sinister Way absolutely, and from thence there really can be no turning back. Thus the Adept must be completely certain of the seriousness and significance of taking that step. The option of not undertaking the next stage will mean staying within the realm of the self-image, and whilst this is possible and much work of value can still be developed by remaining there, the Adept will not be able to hide from occasional visits by the demons of the Abyss. They will take opportunities to remind the Adept of the shadow of Death’s oblivion and of how that shadow may have been harnessed and used instead to cross over the unfathomable gulf towards acausal immortality.
Order of Nine Angles 119yf