Dark Pathworking: Satanas
Atu VII – Azoth
“The Menstruum – the Sinister aspect implicit within the homogenous metallic water’: the explosive factor in the delicate balancing of life-enhancing elements. Change by adversity – the ‘Accuser’. The brutal realities that threaten to devour the abstract, the romantic. Insight and control via the understanding of the Primal – or destruction by it.”
Clothed in black I entered the chamber, intent to invoke a destructive energy I knew could overcome me in an equally destructive way. The intent filled my very being with an anxiousness that should have seemed out of place. But there was a feeling of glory to what I would do – a feeling that would surely come back to me time and time again as I’d venture into the Dark deeds that presence, and create, Satan. I gave flame to the candles, and breathed deeply, slowly, for some minutes – knowing that I must first relax and become content with my surroundings, before i once again ventured to that gate. The Quartz Tetrahedon the altar bore I could tell was pulsing with the Dark. It was one part of a Nexion, slowly being formed between it, and the chants I have sung to lure Dark Gods. These Gods I knew, as invoked to intrude upon my consciousness, could cause much unrest, even terror. But such an intrusion, obtainable it seems in only a small way – when compared to the utter terror and chaos which in essence are these Dark Gods, is an important element to achieving the balance one seeks.
The Dark Gods employ the spirit of life, and give it the Acausal Charge implicit in any conscious being. Once the Dark Gods intruded upon our Causal world, and caused the terror, unrest, and destructiveness which forced the evolution of our species by way of increasing our consciousness. This is what I aim to achieve, individually. Not simply to further open the Nexion in me, but to draw forth the blackened essence of being, so that I may advance my own consciousness, survive the terror, and move one step closer to the balance of Causal/Acausal I will eventually be. I seek to become.
As I began the vocal vibrations – “Sa-tan-as” – I kept awareness as to my surroundings, and attuned my focus to drawing forth the Sinister element of both destructive and creative force; that which I know to be Satanas. As I completed the vibrations, which bond me to my Tetrahedron in an inexplicable way, I experienced a coldness of being. Or would it be better described as non-being? I had become slightly detached from where I stood, and continued the rite. I began a slow dance, repeatedly chanting “Satanas”, whilst increasing in speed. The dance spiraled inward to where I draw Satanas’ presence, and where I eventually collapsed, exhausted and becoming separate from my physical self. I lay breathing deeply, not obscuring anything which might take place. I aimed to relax, and begin to let the visions that would be used as communication to consciousness come through. The visions were elusive, but the feelings were not. Coldness took hold of the chamber, and Satanas began to elusively take hold of the emptiness. I found myself in a struggle, for I was entrenched in a sort of chaos which I could make no sense of. Reason was evasive, understanding was beyond reach. All I could apprehend was being lost, not knowing which way to turn, ot to turn at all.
The figure in the Atu mutated, and began to give form to the energy. But this happened not within the Atu itself, but rather inside me, outside of me, in front of me, around me. My body weakened, and exhaustion gripped firmly as I struggled to retain the strength to stand and complete the rite. I was not being drained, as some might take it. But rather I was experiencing a realm in which my consciousness was hitherto unaware. It was an intrusion which I move on. The exhaustion I experienced during the dance had not lasted, as it was merely a result of frenzy. But with Satanas, quickly came a deeper felt exhaustion, not only one of the body, but one of the spirit. Afterward, my perception detached. This feeling of detachment, and the exhaustion which accompanied it, would last longer than twenty-four hours after completion of the rite.
This detachment however, was not an ignorance to the causal world of our existence, but rather an awareness of the forces at work behind it. Such exhaustion, I felt, was a painfully mocking result – but all I could do was to smile at this, for it is a small price to pay for what I seek, and I will undoubtedly experience worse. Worse perhaps, but not without that glory I had felt beginning this – a glory which did not subside.
[The preceding was adapted from the notes in my Magickal diary depicting my experiences with the Tree of Wyrd and the Septenary Tradition: Hebdmandry. – Thornian]
-Order of Nine Angles-