I stood there in the night eight years ago to this day, bewildered and betrayed. I looked down at the ringbox and opened it to peer at the shimmering diamond that I was to present to Tina, asking her to be my wife.
Inside the black Honda, some guy reclining in the driver’s seat and Tina’s head going up and down on his lap. Tears stung my face and I started to descend back into the train station. I went home and drank myself into a stupor and fell asleep on the sofa.
The next day, I woke up angry and bent on vengeance. I worked out to calm myself down and when I was at the point of exhaustion, I called Tina and asked her what she was going to do tonight. She told me that she was going with her sister to get their hair done and go to a movie. Right. Semen is a really great conditioner for the hair, I thought.
I called my friend Chris and he agreed to loan me his car after I told him what happened. He wanted to come so that we could throw the guy a beatdown but I said that I would handle it. It wasn’t entirely the guy’s fault, I reasoned. Tina is a beautiful girl and not many men could resist her.
I drove over to Tina’s house and waited for about two hours to see if I see the black Honda again. There it was after two hours. It didn’t seem that long because my thoughts were racing. Enough thoughts that seemed to fill two hours. The time did help to calm me down.
There she was coming out of her apartment building, looking beautiful as always. She wasn’t dressed very flashy, blue jeans and a black blouse, but she was easily the most beautiful woman in any room that she stepped in. My heart sank as she got into the Honda and kissed the driver on the lips. I took off after them as they drove off. I talked myself down and let a car come between us as I was planning my next move.
About twenty minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater. Great, not I have to sit here for another two hours. As soon as they walked into the theater and I ran across the street to the convenience store and grabbed a six pack of beer, feeling sorry for myself and wanting to kill both of them at the same time. Maybe alcohol wasn’t the best thing for me right now but it just seemed right. Whatever the hell I’m going to do next, I know that I’m going to the topless bar tonight. With or without my friends, fuck it.
For the next three and a half hours I sat there drinking and stepping out to piss on the door handles of Loverboy’s black Honda. I hoped that they would open their doors and eat something without washing their hands. Yeah, I’m pretty lame when I’m a little buzzed.
I went back in Chris’ car when no sooner that I close the door, here come the lovebirds walking like they’re joined at the hip and groping each other. I looked on the floor of the car and saw an anti-theft device. I wanted to go out there and just bludgeon them both but something told me that there was a better way if I was just patient. So I waited, not even looking at them squirming around in their car. Then I remembered that I pissed on the Honda and giggled like I was ten years old.
Now where the fuck were these two going? I wanted to go get some more beer but I wanted to make my next move whatever the fuck that was going to be. Shit, they were going to the park. That fucker was too cheap to even pay for a fuckin’ motel. Tina’s even cheaper figuratively and literally than I suspected. I almost cried as I watched the two figures in the car just going at it. I say almost because I was now more angry than anything.
About fifteen minutes later, both of their windows were rolled down and I could see them smoking. Then, quiet. I waited another twenty minutes and then started to walk over towards the Honda without thinking. I stood at the driver’s side and there they were, half naked and asleep in their seats. I wondered for a moment if I should kill them both. It would be be pretty dramatic if I was the last thing that they saw before they met their grisly demise. Then I thought, I did a lot of things in my life. I wouldn’t want this to be the thing that defines me. I kill them and then I end up on the front page of the paper: “Scorned Lover’s Rampage at Make-Out Point” or some other stupid contrived headline.
Then, there it was. The guy’s cellphone on the dashboard. A feeling came over me to grab the phone. So I tried the door carefully and it was unlocked. I slowly grabbed the phone and the almost full pack of Marlboro Lights, fuck it. I carefully closed the door and ran back to Chris’ car.
I drove by the lovebirds and no one stirred. I laughed maniacally to myself and then laughed for even laughing. I went to the store and bought more beer.
I came home, sat down on the couch and looked at the phone. There was a girl that he used as the phone’s wallpaper. She was pretty, not as pretty as Tina, but not many women are. I scrolled through the phone’s menu until I saw “Home” on the screen and called it. A female voice picked up on the other end, presumably the face on the phone. I asked her if her husband drove a black Honda and she said yes. I told her that he was fucking a girl named Tina at the park in the car. She was unpleasantly surprised and asked who the fuck I was and why I had her husband’s phone. I told her that it didn’t matter who I was, I picked up the phone off the dashboard while he was sleeping and then I hung up.
The next day, I went to Tina’s house and she seemed pretty disturbed. I asked her what was the matter. She just replied that she couldn’t explain, only that something weird was going on. I made an excuse like I didn’t feel well and went home. I never called her again, and never returned her calls nor answered my door for her.
Skorne, Nexion 352
Order of Nine Angles